Updated Elevator Pitch - Feedback Please

Reposition yourself to re-enter the workforce; join me on my personal branding journey.

It has been a challenging week for me trying to update my elevator pitch. I got some great suggestions from Kathy McAffee whose website is motivatednetworker.com.  Specifically, these two pieces of advice guided my revision.

1. Position yourself in how you want to be going forward, not what you've been in the past. Focus on intention, not history.
2. You will need different versions of your elevator pitch. It is a dynamic piece of communication that changes depending on the situation and opportunity at hand.

With that in mind, I began revising my original "I am, I can, I want" statement:

I am an international marketing specialist with 5 years of consumer product experience setting up Avon's $50 million new market niche in China.

I can develop strategic marketing plans, and have extensive experience planning, implementing and analyzing research projects and sales promotion campaigns as well as forecasting sales. I have a Masters in International Management and speak fluent Chinese.

I want a product marketing position with a company that has the vision and resources to create exciting and effective marketing campaigns.

Updated Version:

I am a marketing professional with a global mind-set and 8 years of international experience. I also have 5 years of customer service experience and understand the importance of customer-centric strategy.

I can research, strategize, present, and implement customer-focused marketing campaigns using the newest social media and marketing metrics tools as well as more traditional techniques.

I want a product marketing/branding position with a company that has a winning product vision and the resources to create exciting and effective customer-focused marketing campaigns.

 Using Kathy Mcafee's guidelines, I also came up with condensed versions...

10 seconds:  My name is Allison Prout and I help companies create exciting and effective customer-focused marketing campaigns.

30 seconds:  My name is Allison Prout and I'm a marketing professional who understands the importance of customer-centric strategy.

I help companies with winning product visions create exciting and effective customer-focused marketing campaigns by using the newest social media and marketing metrics tools along with traditional marketing strategies.

I am interested in meeting someone who can discuss your companies marketing challenges with me, Allison Prout.

As you can see, I have been hard at work. Please let me know what you think of my updates, are they better than the original? I would appreciate some objective input.  Thanks.

See you next Friday...